What are you feeling right now.. ?

I am afraid a bit, despite the fact that a lot of people tell me I am brave... I am afraid I gave up, but I feel free. 

In the same time I am grieving for the life I have envisioned, for the future and all the plans, dreams I had in my head, now that is all gone.

There's a wonderful saying : " YOU have to give up the life you planned, find the life that is waiting for you " 

I truly believe in it. All our life we grow by giving up faith, by loss and moving on. Big things, little ones, how we handle those losses really defines who we are....But listen !! YOU don't need others to tell you what to do, all you need from them is to listen. You need them to be a place where you can talk out loud so YOU can hear what you really think, what YOU think , not them. 

You'll know what to do next, and what not to do and that's alright too. 

And you'll know when is time to move on.. And we all tried and maybe so many things didn't work and that disappointment , that loss how we put it, it is just as real as others loss, so is the grief and sadness and if you don't acknowledge it, feel it , it will never get out of your way.  

Unacknowledged feelings are like a drunk cousin at a family reunion , they never shut up so you can hear anyone else and you have to be able to hear what's in your life, what path you might wanna travel down with or without some people in. You have to able to see what is right there , right in front of your eyes.....

The good thing about a friendship is that even if a terrible mistake happen, you just can't imagine your life with anyone else that can't understand you or haven't seen you for who you are in your worst moments. 

That's why you commit to each other, that's why you make promises and share moments, through the good and bad you'll just keep on trying, like in a marriage. 

You're fighting not only for friendship or love, you're fighting for something bigger than either one of you, you're fighting for the friendship you've become, for the " us " you've become, that is really worth fighting for..

And the best thing about this is that when anything bad happens you are one of the people in my life I wanna talk most with ...

Kind regards, 

                     Nico